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Today’s Dating Tips Are Forged In Hilarious Failure
When it comes to dating, people ask for tips that are right off the top of their head. But dating wasn’t the focus of my last lesson on dating. My focus was on the hilarious way in which all relationships fail. The rate at which people get hitched is astounding, and we have the statistics on our side. So I wanted to focus on the jokes and the hilarity that will come from making an effort to get what you want in a relationship.
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The Relationship History
You got together in a cliché moment. A kiss while watching a movie. A dinner date at a nice Italian restaurant with a glass of chianti. Yes, yes, and yes, but only in the romantic comedies do the dating-love-chick and the boyfriend experience this moment. All dating and relationship history stories have some version of this ideal. Don’t believe me? Think about your own story. What was your first kiss like? What movie was it? What food did you eat? What position was it in? This is where stories of the rom-com come from.
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This story doesn’t happen.
I’ve been in relationships where I was the last person to know about them, or the last person that person told. I had no clue they’d even started seeing someone or meeting someone. I wouldn’t even say that someone came on as a date. They just showed up, and had no idea I was even seeing someone, or they even liked me. Maybe the few times someone had the courage to tell me they liked me, I completely misread it as me liking them. (You can imagine my hysterics.) It’s really hard to initiate dating and a relationship, even if you are interested in someone. It’s a good thing to be in the position of being interested, because you will have a more direct line to it. But it’s hard to initiate this, and it’s easy to feel yourself sort of lost. But that’s no excuse to start looking for the next best thing.
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We didn’t go on a date.
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The younger you are, the more you should think about a long-term relationship. So many of our dating apps and sites will tell you that your 20s are the prime time to be finding Mr. Right, yet if you really think about it, it just makes more sense to focus on finding Mr. Right now. Why? We haven’t finished growing and developing and our brains and hearts still have a lot of room for improvement. It’s also a little more socially acceptable for you to be single in your 20s; it’s not that weird to be single in your 20s. And no matter how much you think about love and relationships, you will probably never be completely over analyzing every moment with every other guy.
Picking a date-planner is pretty straightforward, but you have to ask yourself why you want to do this in the first place. For most of us, the idea of dating is terrifying (it’s no way easier than you think), but you should also ask yourself why you want to date. If you’re looking for someone to date for “fun,” you’re not likely to find someone you’re interested in that for fun, and if you do, they might not want to date you for fun. Most people who look for that relationship they’ll “marry and live happily ever after” want to be in a relationship because they find it fulfilling, not just something they do for the fun of it.
So ask yourself this:
What kind of relationship are you looking for, casual or serious? Casual relationships can be fun, but not necessarily satisfying. (You can have a casual relationship with multiple people simultaneously, just be sure to treat them all well or you’ll be both trying to cheat on each other and sleeping with someone else.)
If you’re looking for someone to date for “fun,” you’re not likely to find someone you’re interested in that for fun, and if you do, they might not want to date you for fun. Most people who look for that relationship they’ll “marry and live happily ever after” want to be in a relationship because they find it fulfilling, not just something they do for the fun of it. Casual relationships can be fun, but not necessarily satisfying. (You can have a casual relationship with multiple people simultaneously, just be sure to treat them all well or you’ll be both trying to cheat on each other and sleeping with someone else.) When are you looking for a relationship? If you’re looking for a serious relationship
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